


It Never Rains When You Want It To

by shiningdragonair



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, M/M, One Shot, Past Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-24
Updated: 2016-02-24
Packaged: 2018-05-22 22:01:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,477
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6095380
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shiningdragonair/pseuds/shiningdragonair
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"What do you say<br/>When it's all gone away?<br/>Baby, I didn't mean to hurt you..."</p>
<p>- "Humble Me," Norah Jones</p>
            </blockquote>





	It Never Rains When You Want It To

**Author's Note:**

> I've been on a Norah Jones kick lately and this came to me after listening to "Humble Me." Enjoy <3

There was nothing ahead but asphalt and the outskirts of a sun-baked desert town. The sunset lit the expanse ablaze while Eren’s foot rested heavy on the gas, taking full advantage of the empty expressway. His left hand lighted atop the black steering wheel while his right reached around to his back, holding the drowsy five-year-old girl’s hand as she started to drift off to sleep, lulled by the familiar engine and a ride on fresh pavement. She stretched out along the seats and turned to her daddy’s hand, clutching it tight. Jet black hair spilled over the run-down leather interior. She opened her eyes for a moment and whispered, “Daddy, are we there yet?”

 

Eren glanced back and met her grey eyes. He swallowed hard and gave her hand a squeeze. “Just nap, baby. We’ll be there when you wake up.”

 

“Okay," she yawned. "I love you, daddy."

 

“I love you, too, Sophie."

 

Eren held the wheel in place with his knee to wipe the burning tears in his eyes. He glanced in the rearview mirror. _Stuff’s still strapped in good._ Dry air rushed in his cracked window, carrying with it the fading scent of oil and rubber. Grease and liquor. Home. Eren shut the window and flipped his shades down from his forehead. Staring into the sunset ignited an ache he just didn't need to deal with right now. He clicked on the AC, which coughed out dust before finally cranking out cool air. _Piece of shit truck._

 

"Pa...pa...."

 

Eren glanced back at his dreaming daughter and felt his heart shoot to his throat. "Sh..." he swallowed hard. "Sh-sh-shh..."

 

The engine started to sputter as the truck went from 90 to 50 to 20 to 0 in a matter of seconds. Eren veered off to the side of the road, asphalt turning to sand and brush. He sighed and collapsed onto the wheel. "Not now," he groaned as he kicked open his door. Work boots crunched the sand beneath him. He adjusted the seat of his oil-stained jeans and peeled his white tee from his torso, almost transparent from sweat. A breeze blew minimal relief through him as he popped open the hood of the truck. The sun burrowed beneath the desert horizon, giving way to dusk and the deep navy of the desert evening. Eren reached into the front end of the truck only to feel his skin sizzle against the engine.

 

"Shit!" he yanked his hand out and slammed a boot against the bumper. He clutched his hand to his stomach and fell to his knees as the tears he tried to hide from his daughter bubbled to the surface and leaked out. Tears that have been pooling since her papa left. Tears that have been longing to roll since their power was cut. Since the water was turned off. Since their food was day to day. He felt a small hand on his convulsing back.

 

"D-Daddy?" Sophie looked at her daddy with eyes brimming with tears. "Why're you crying?"

 

Eren grabbed her by the arm and pulled her in close, clutching his daughter as tight as he could. Tears rolled onto her hair.

 

"What is it, daddy?"

 

"It's nothing, baby. Daddy's just got lots on his mind." Eren pushed his matted brown hair back off his face. Before he could wipe his eyes, Sophie took her pale hands and brushed them away herself. She left her palm on his cheek and ran her small thumb back and forth. Eren smiled.

 

"I knew that'd work," she whispered.

 

"And how did you know that?"

 

"Because Papa used to do it whenever he made you sad."

 

His smile vanished. He pressed his lips to Sophie's forehead and rose to his feet, picking her up with him. "Daddy's gotta fix the car now, so I need you to take a nap, okay?" She nodded. Eren opened up the back door and plopped the five-year-old down before closing the door. She kneeled on the seat and plastered her face against the window and stuck out her tongue. Eren chuckled and reciprocated before attending to the car. He pulled a lamp from the back of the pickup and hung it on the hood of the car. Before he could work on it, a second car pulled off of the highway and came to a halt next to them. Eren turned his attention to the stranger who emerged from the beat-up sedan. All he could make out was a shadow that was obviously shorter than he was. As he approached Eren and his pickup, his gait gave him away.

 

“What the fuck are you doing here?” Eren shot, arms crossed as he leaned against the door to the back seat. He clenched his fists. The man didn’t answer. He continued to stride towards them. Lamplight that spilled over from the hood of the car reflectedoff of jet-black hair and porcelain skin, marred by scars and dirt. He looked up at Eren and his silver eyes flashed in the light. “Answer me, Levi.” Eren demanded.

 

“Where are you going?” Levi asked, voice cracking from the aridity.

 

“What’s it matter to you?”

 

Levi sighed and put his hand on Eren’s tense forearm. He recoiled violently.

 

“Don’t touch me. You have _no_ right to touch me.”

 

Eren watched as he pulled his arm away and dug his hand into his pocket. Levi pulled out a coin. “Do you know what this is?” Eren kept silent while the shorter explained. “It’s my one year. When I left…when I left you two, I promised I wouldn’t come back until I had something to show for it. Please,” Levi whispered, “please take it. I did this for you.”

 

“You expect me to believe you?” Eren muttered. “You expect me to believe that the man who went through almost three bottles of whiskey a day is sober now? The man who gave me _this,_ ” he yanked his tee up to reveal the scarred remnants of a gash that ran from his hip to his upper back, “is now changed and clean? You didn’t _leave_ , Levi. I had to throw you _out_. So, don’t,“ Eren’s voice caught in his throat, “ _don’t_ act like you did it on your own.”

 

“You’re right. I’m sorry. And I know - “

 

“And you know what?” he interrupted, raising his voice. “You, you know what I put us through by throwing you out? How many times I thought about calling you to get you back? How the only reason I’m alive is because I needed to make sure Sophie didn't starve? You don’t know _anything_ , Levi. Losing you was the hardest motherfucking thing that I put myself through and I thought - “ Eren stopped.

 

“Thought what?”

 

“Nothing.” Eren looked away.

 

Levi stepped closer to Eren and put his hand on his cheek, brushing with his thumb. Eren sighed into his hand and relished in the familiarity of his touch. “I loved you,” Eren whispered. “I still love you.”

 

“I still love you, too.”

 

“Do you?” Eren asked, unconvinced.

 

“I got sober for you two. When you threw me out, I could’ve given up and wasted away. But I cleaned up. Got a job. I even helped build a damn church.”

 

Eren choked out a laugh. “You? A church?”

 

“Believe it.” Levi smiled.

 

“Surprised you weren’t struck down by lightning right on the spot.”

 

“You and me both.”

 

Silence fell over the two. Levi’s hand remained on Eren’s cheek while Eren’s fingers grazed Levi’s other hand. “I want to believe you,” Eren breathed.

 

“You can,” Levi leaned closer and Eren guided Levi’s other hand to his waist. A year and a half of emptiness and miles of space between the two evaporated as their lips met. After a moment, Eren pulled away. “You kicked smoking, too?” Levi nodded.

 

The driver’s side door opened and Sophie leapt out. “What’s going on?” She looked up at Levi and her tired eyes widened. “Papa!” She bounded over to him and he scooped her up in his arms. “What’re you doing here, Papa?”

 

“Papa,” Eren interrupted sternly, “is going to help us get the truck fixed.”

 

“Y-Yeah,” Levi agreed, deflated by mood change.

 

“Do you have to leave again?” Sophie asked, visibly worried.

 

“I don’t know.” He looked at Eren.

 

“Me and Papa have to talk about some things when you go to sleep.”

 

“I’ll be here when you wake up, though,” Levi added. “I promise.”

 

Levi and Eren brought Sophie over to the sedan and let her lay across the back seat. The two hauled the luggage from the truck over to Levi’s trunk before climbing into the car themselves. Eren apprehensively sat in the passenger's seat while Levi started the car up.

 

"It's gonna be okay." Levi reached over and squeezed Eren's hand and, for that moment, everything was just how it should be.

 

**Author's Note:**

> <3


End file.
